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“Could fulfillment ever be felt as deeply as loss?”

“Could fulfillment ever be felt as deeply as loss?” Somehow the irony of these written words by Kiran Desai always haunted me. For the longest time, I kept reflecting upon the sublimity of the question, swaying between ‘Yes’ and ‘No’. To be honest, my logical mind always believed that fulfillment is felt as deeply as the loss if not more. But my heart somehow always begged to differ.
Every achievement, every success, every bit of fame always left me asking for more. Pushing my desires to almost unattainable limits at times, it was like a bottomless pit no amount of accomplishment could ever fill. I found myself constantly looking for more. And what did I gain in that process? A miserable existence. An existence where I was so superficial, hankering for trivial success, frivolous fame, and irrelevant rewards. It was an unending desire and my soul got bruised again and again.
And what happened when I was faced with failure, loss, or ‘No’s’? No denying the fact that it did hurt, it crushe…